Stories of Hope
Our young people and families share their stories to explain how The Wave offered opportunities to be creative, to feel accepted and to be supported on their recovery journeys.
Recovery is Possible
The Wave Clinic is a place of hope, not only for the teenagers and young adults who walk through our doors but also for their families who are able to find hope in a brighter future.
Recovery from mental health concerns, eating disorders and addictions takes courage, patience and determination. There is nothing linear about the recovery process. Our young people explain that The Wave offered opportunities to be creative, to feel accepted and to feel supported in their recovery journeys.
Our young people and their families stay in close contact with us after they leave. In fact, many of them return to visit The Wave family and join us to mark special celebrations in their lives. Our families know that they can lean on us for support and advice, long after treatment has been completed.
We offer short stays, regular therapy sessions and support for all our young people for as long as they need us. There is no time limit or ceiling on our involvement; our family becomes your family as the story continues to unfold.
The Wave is a unique space. We made it that way. Our team creates space, ‘The Wave Way’. We nurture, care, live and laugh with our young people; we believe in collaboration and recovery partnerships and most of all we believe that recovery is possible for every young person that we have the pleasure of meeting.
Each has a story to tell and we have the ability to listen.
We are proud of our success stories, they increase month on month. We enjoy listening.
*The names of our young people and their families have been changed in these stories of hope, to protect their privacy in the online world. Our young people and families have given consent to use their stories as they would like to share their experience with newcomers and their families.
Julia’s Story
Julia, Age 19, Exeter – UK
Anorexia Nervosa & Developmental Trauma
Julia was offered a place at The Wave in Primary Treatment. She had spent the past five years in and out of treatment for eating disorders in the UK. Having spent time hospitalised in central London and then transitioned from CAMHS to Adult Services, Julia’s parents (Penny and Paul) understood that she needed something different – something that offered community, companionship and an opportunity to change direction.
‘We knew that after almost 12 months in hospital and being ‘sectioned’ (under the Mental Health Act), our daughter needed a change that offered a new focus. I clearly remember my first call to The Wave, when Fiona talked about challenges, giving the chance for change to happen and mostly when I heard her say that full recovery from eating disorders is possible. I knew that The Wave was a place where we could try something different.’
Penny remembers that call well.
Julia joined The Wave on a bed-to-bed transfer accompanied by an experienced Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. When she arrived, she was met by her two treatment buddies (two is always better than one) and immediately found friendship in her peer group. Julia needed careful medical management and joined the ED Program following her stabilisation.
Julie remembers her early days in treatment, ‘I was really used to moving between hospitals and therapists offices, every time I said exactly what the doctors wanted to hear, left only to be readmitted. It was a horrible cycle that I just couldn’t, or maybe didn’t want, to break.’
‘I spent the first few weeks at The Wave telling myself that I didn’t really need treatment, that I had all the skills to manage on my own. I look back and almost laugh at how inflexible and rigid I was – with everything and everyone. I used my family therapy calls to do my best to convince my parents that I had everything under control and that I was ready to go home. Thankfully, neither my parents nor the team listened to me. They pointed out that my eating disorder was talking and trying to take control.’
Family Therapy in eating disorder treatment is essential. Stabilisation and finding a place in the community, and away from family, really made a difference to Julia. However much Mum and Dad disliked her eating disorder, they found it very hard to maintain firm boundaries with Julia (and her eating disorder voice). Their understandable fear for Julia’s wellbeing left them feeling powerless to challenge or confront the eating disorder alone.
This is one of the many areas where they experienced change as a family. In family therapy, Moe and Fiona were able to gently challenge the ‘black and white’ thinking and issues of control within the family. Penny and Paul were committed to their own parts in the therapeutic process and worked alongside The Wave therapy team to look at some of the relationships they themselves had with food and with their own family of origin.
Penny, Paul and Julia were able to use the facilitated sessions to repair the relationships in the family that had been under strain. Julia had found communicating with Paul almost impossible prior to treatment. Repair of the relationship was a shared goal in the family sessions.
‘I can remember the time when I no longer used the family to manipulate, I can remember actually moving through that and knowing that I had some way to go, but that I was determined to recover. This time I knew it was real. It felt a bit different.’
‘I’m so grateful that The Wave team stood by me and stood firm with my treatment plan. I managed to get to where I needed to be in terms of weight and I managed to find a relationship with my dad that I didn’t think was possible. I also found my love of horse riding again. This time I wasn’t worried about the bulky calf muscles or being the best, I was happy to be me. I actually really like the person that I am. I have friends, I have a family at The Wave on speed dial and I have my life back.’
Julia has now started University near her hometown and has continued to be an absolute superstar in recovery.
Henrietta’s Story
Henrietta, Age 13, Budapest – Hungary
Complex Trauma & High Conflict Divorce
Henrietta arrived at The Wave just before her 13th birthday. The Wave is able to accommodate young people from 12-years-old (and one day) under The Malaysian Mental Health Act.
However, Henrietta was the youngest arrival in the main house. With some special adaptations in the program and additional one-to-one care, Henrietta arrived with a big smile.
‘I was a little bit nervous but more excited I think. I have not ever stayed away from my twin sister for more than two nights. I think that made me the most scared.’
Henrietta had unfortunately had to leave school as her emotionally unstable periods affected her academic life. Henrietta had felt caught in her parents high conflict divorce which had been unfolding for many years. She had sleep difficulties and her mum described episodes of rage. Henrietta found it very difficult to keep friends and had changed school many times. Henrietta loved her twin sister very much and had a very competitive relationship where she often felt ‘left out’ or ‘not the favourite’. Henriettta had dyed her hair, skipped school and been seen smoking and self harming with fire.
Henrietta described feeling very big feelings that felt impossible to handle alone. She felt that nobody truly ‘understood’ her. DBT groups proved really beneficial for Henrietta. She shared some of the projects with her twin sister as they began to use family therapy to explore their relationship with each other and with Mum and Dad.
Henrietta had an incredibly successful treatment episode. Early intervention really does make a difference to the lives of young people. Henrietta left The Wave (with many tears from her friends) after a 12 week stay with us.
Henrietta has continued with her online school, which she enjoyed at The Wave and is doing really well. We are delighted to hear that Henrietta is also a Sugar Craft Champion.
Annabelle’s Story
Annabelle, Age 19, Toronto – Canada
Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder & PTSD (Trauma)
Anabelle found The Wave herself. Mum and Dad were impressed that Annabelle had searched the world over to find somewhere that she thought would be the right place for her.
By age 19, Annabelle had been admitted to several psychiatric units and had visited the Emergency Department on many occasions. Annabelle had experienced a difficult few years with several suicide attempts, self-harm, purging to blackout and broken relationships.
She remembers that she liked the look of The Wave because of the fun GAP year activities in Malaysia. It made her smile to think of being outdoors and able to have fun again.
‘I found them and emailed (The Wave) myself. I felt so exhausted with my life. I was not getting better. In fact, that year I think everything was getting worse. I was bingeing and purging most days, usually until I had goosebumps on my body. I would have ringing in my ears and blackouts. If I’m honest, that’s all that stopped me. I knew the map of my city by the best bathrooms to purge in. Things were getting pretty bad and I decided to end my life.’
With unstable moods, dissociation, periods of memory lapse and high-risk behaviours, Annabelle needed long-term support in a residential setting.
Annabelle was very unwell when she arrived and received one-to-one care, together with intensive medical support from the ED Specialist Nursing Team at The Wave. She recalls that the connection she found with her peers was one of the biggest steps that she made in her recovery journey.
‘Finding friends and the fact that someone is always there for you is what makes The Wave such a special place. This is the place where I began to feel like I could really be me, I found the courage to have friends and not hide. I also learnt to speak out.’
Dr Rasyid was able to look closely at the medication that Annabelle arrived with and gently replace them with medications that allowed Annabelle to work on her trauma therapy whilst not experiencing any of the instability that she had previously experienced.
Trauma therapy is a slow and gentle process. Annabelle benefitted from EMDR, DBT and safety and connection. She moved from the main program to Transitions House (Secondary Care), where she continued to increase her independent living skills.
Annabelle returned home with two offers, vocational and academic, and is pursuing her love for Art and Design.
Scott’s Story
Scott, Age 15, Singapore
Problems at School, Shoplifting & Behavioural Issues
Scott’s dad contacted The Wave for advice following a school exclusion and several police and community matters. Scott had been excluded from several schools in a short period and had not settled into online learning. School had reported a suspicion of teenage alcohol use.
During our assessment, Scott seemed pleased to be leaving the problems behind and to have a fresh start. Scott was sporty and interested in many of the program elements in our Primary Treatment.
Scott had a difficult initial period in treatment. Disregard for social norms and rules had become a standard pattern of behaviour for Scott and living within a bright and challenging community was tricky. Scott was gently challenged by his peers, with many of them having been through similar difficulties with perceived authority.
Scott joined the social skills group, led by Kaartick and Eslam and made really great progress within the smaller setting of this group. He began to hand in his independent work and found himself in less altercations. Scott found a desire to take part in short courses with a small number of university credits and took great pride in his work.
Scott was also able to work with Dr Rasyid to look for medications that assisted with his impulsivity and that in turn helped with the rule breaking. He was found to meet the criteria for dyspraxia and ADHD, together with substance use disorder (SUD). By working through his early life story and bullying, we were able to look at the lifetime trauma and begin adolescent EMDR.
Following his time at The Wave, Scott joined a Forest School with Adventure Program to complete his final years in formal education.
Lin’s Story
Lin, Mother, Malaysia
Addiction and Schizophrenia
Lin and her husband Patrick came to The Wave following a serious psychiatric crisis. Their 23-year-old son, D, had escalating drug use that had led to episodes of psychosis. D was hearing voices and was very frightened. His sleep was poor, as the nights were peppered with unpleasant hallucinations and further drug use.
D was initially admitted to The Wave Higher Level of Care program for observation and stabilisation. The Wave HLOC Program is situated in a smaller building away from hustle and bustle of the main house.
‘Watching our 23-year-old son sit in his room, barely leave the house, was horrible for us. He would only leave to buy beer at a nearby store. He sat in his room alone. He was withdrawn, Isolated, and on his phone all day and night. We didn’t want to believe that he was smoking drugs; it was our worst fear. When we found cannabis and other drugs, we were worried. We met with our psychiatrist, who suggested that a period of intensive treatment was the best option for D. Mental health is not really talked about in my family or in my husband’s family. We really felt like we had nowhere to turn. Mental health treatment in Malaysia is really limited and we were fortunate that our psychiatrist had experience with the medical team at The Wave.’
‘Our son, who left studies the year before, hadn’t worked for many months. Each time he had a job it would last for just a few months until the stress caused him to isolated and leave or be asked to leave. This has been happening on and off for 6 years. He looked lost, he wasn’t able to sleep and often looked scared. Our son was admitted to The Wave and quickly they helped to educated us on psychosis and serious mental illness. Dr Rasyid and the nursing team were able to stabilise D and help us all to understand the benefits of medication and how to prevent further episodes.’
‘We had no real knowledge and felt some relief from knowing that our son could be helped. It took sometime to get the right medication, at the right dose. During this time, our son had intensive one-to-one and group therapy and made some friends for the first time in years. He found a new love of sport, particularly Muay Thai.’
Following treatment at the Wave, D now returns on an outpatient basis for follow up care with Dr. Rasyid. He has found a job that he really enjoys, and often pops into The Wave to see his old friends and to bring the team a coffee. He has had minor mental health relapses, which have been noticed and helped quickly.
‘D and our family are so pleased that he went to The Wave. We make sure that we talk to our extended family about mental health matters. It’s really important for parents to see the signs of mental health problems and act quickly.’
Amanda’s Story
Amanda, Age 18, Edinburgh – UK
Eating Disorder and Self-Harm
‘When I look back, I think that feeling like I don’t fit in at primary school was the first time I tried to numb my pain. I remember pulling my hair from the front and at the back of my neck. I always felt like I had butterflies in my tummy’.
‘I first cut myself when I started secondary school. I remember feeling like I was never going to be able to be like the others, I was never going to be good enough’. Skipping lunch at school was the first time I restricted my eating. It wasn’t about the food as much as not being able to face the crowded dining room and seeing all the others girls having a great time’.
Amanda, was accepted into The Wave Girls Primary Treatment Program just after her 17th birthday. She had been in outpatient treatment and had had some success over short periods but with harsh relapses that saw her mood and weight de-stabilise.
‘I think the best part of The Wave was finding that I had friends. I finally found the group that I had been looking for. I went from feeling all alone to being able to join in with everything’.Amanda left The Wave Primary Treatment to move to Transitions House (Secondary Care) where she studied a Pre-University Science Direct Entry Course. Amanda is currently waiting to join a Veterinary Medicine Course in the USA.
Sandra’s Story
Sandra, Mother, London – UK
Our Family – Our Future
‘Our daughter, had so many problems we didn’t know where to start looking for help. Bulimia, self-harm and incredible mood swings. She had started using drugs, smoking, cutting herself and running away. The overdose left us with little hope that anything would change’.
‘When it was suggested that our daughter Carly needed residential treatment following the overdose, we were at a loss where to turn. We had seen many therapists in London and been referred to CAMHS. We were fortunate to find a Harley Street Adolescent Therapist who recommended The Wave’.
‘Our first call was reassuring, although we were still concerned about the distance and our daughter, who was just 16-years-old, making the journey all the way to Kuala Lumpur. We were supported from that day to this. Not only has our daughter changed in so many ways, our family has too. We’ve had the benefit of family therapy throughout treatment. It has made a difference to the way that we see everything’.
‘Carly left The Wave to join the her first choice university. As parents, we feel that we have grown together and as a family supporting each other and being there for each other in a way that we couldn’t before. We couldn’t see a future and now we feel that we will be able to enjoy family life’.
Lisa’s Story
Lisa, Age 22, Sydney – Australia
ADHD Diagnosis and Substance Use Treatment
Lisa joined The Wave following several treatment episodes in Australia.
Lisa now describes herself as having, ‘well-managed ADHD’. This is a really big step forward for Lisa. On admission she described much of her early adult life as feeling, ‘like a child, in a grown up body’.
Lisa had not received a diagnosis in childhood. Instead she had difficulties completing school and always felt that she had underachieved – in relationships, studying and life. Lisa suffered from depression and anxiety and on admission was concerned that she was relying on drugs to self-medicate her unsettled moods.
Lisa says, ‘Medication works, it absolutely works. I felt like a child, anxious, too many thoughts, too many changes. Everything would just race through my head. I hated myself and I believed this was just what adult life was like.
‘At The Wave I have gained knowledge, understanding and education. I learnt about my unhelpful thoughts, I had to unlearn things that I thought were fact. Medication gave me some space whist I had talk therapy to help me out. I realised that I didn’t need to suffer anymore’.
‘My advice to others is, get treatment. It takes trial and testing, you really do have to try to make sure you get the right medication and the right therapy in the right place. It worked for me. I would like to be a peer ADHD supporter in Australia. If I can feel so much better, I would like others to have that option too.’
Our Parent Advocates
Our Parent Advocates have experience of the treatment process. They understand the complexity of finding suitable treatment, the concerns and the fears.
Our parent advocates are able to answer questions parent to parent. They have experienced the challenges of living with a teenager or young adult with additional mental health needs and experienced the highs and lows of treatment and recovery.
Our parent advocates are based all over the world and have experience of having a teenager or young adult at The Wave. Many of them have looked at and visited many treatment programs before choosing The Wave. We have had parents fly from Europe to Asia for a cup of coffee and to be certain that The Wave really is the most outstanding treatment program in the world for their child.
Dee’s Story
Dee has a story that moves from uncertainty and fear to progress and milestones. When we recently received a call to tell us that her son had secured his first paid job, we were delighted and full of hope for the future. Dee and her family are regular visitors to The Wave and her son now considers the team here as friends and allies in his recovery process. There have been bumps along the way, but through determination and love all the bumps have been small ones.
Carmel’s Story
Carmel has become a friend to many young people and families who have passed through The Wave. Her bright smile and positive outlook are contagious. She not only brings us vast supplies of Australian goodies; she brings us a reminder of how unpredictability and despair can be replaced with a glowing smile, a success story and a gift for giving back to others.
Carmel found that securing treatment in Australia was almost impossible. With one previous treatment episode the family felt further treatment could offer little hope for them.
Having successfully completed and graduated from primary treatment, and six months of secondary treatment, the family realise just how far they have come. We are exceptionally proud to call this family friends of The Wave and know that we will be in close contact for a very long time.
